


Breakfast Club-GPF Edition

by Bowandtie



Series: Bad decisions leads to [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Banquet shenagigans, Gen, Gossip is the universal language in skating community, M/M, and another accidental otaburi, crack I think, gratituous use of profanities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:43:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9020053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bowandtie/pseuds/Bowandtie
Summary: "But have you seen Viktor's though?" Mila adds, looking triumphiant. She mouthes 'it's soo aawesoomeee'.-----If testimonies from GPF Barcelona's banquet attendees is anything to go by, the next venue should invest some of their money in building insurance.Also, figure skating athletes discussing the state of their competitors butts in breakfast hall.





	

People only begin to notice the severity of the situation when JJ Leroy lets out a high pitched wails as he fails to pry himself away from the metal pole. That's when the laughs cease and some people snapped off from their drunken haze.

Someone sensible suggests to call the firefighter to free the kid perched three feet above ground and flailing more hysterically with each passing minutes as he's trying to hold on to the rows of various pants and undergarments posted above him to balance himself up.

The valid and logical sentiments meets some opposition from various parties who's currently in a various stage of undress and fails to find their respective clothes especially from a pantless Michele Crispino and a coach of a junior skater who left only with his boxer, knee highs and a donated garterbelts from a female attendee.

(The fact that the most bare of the bunch make no objections somehow flew over everyone's panic ridden heads)

Leroy screams even louder as he forcibly rips a stripe of ductape from his thighs. The action got him nowhere nearer to freedom than before and brings another problem when he starts to lost his balance and almost snaps his back behind. The patch of his leg where the ductape was removed looks like a waxing job gone awry is currently ignored by all but Plisetsky.

 

JJ screams. The audience screams back in horror while Yakov Feltsman (Russian Coach extraordinaire, currently only half sober and hiking his blood pressure up by running every worst possible scenario in his head) whips his phone and calls local fire station without missing a beat and adds a call to the ambulance just to keep it safe

\-----

When the firefighter comes in, they are greeted by a sight of half naked athletes and skating community huddled in the corner and a 19 year old held by a ductape somewhere above the ground to a pole (flag pole? Laundry row? Stripper pole?) while scattered and soiled bespoke suits, undergarments and trinkets lays on the floor.

Also _holy shit is that a shi-tzu swimming in the punch bowl._

There's also a questionably underage looking kid in the corner who spouts profanities faster than machine gun and looks fiendishly satisfied with the whole turn of events.

(They found out the next day that the kid is the youngest record breaking figure skater. Also, definitely underage. Yep.)

Oh well, they can always brush it off as a normal day at work.

\-----

"Someone should dig a hole so I can lower myself into the ground." Mickey plants his face to the table as he lets out a breathy whine.

"How about in my backyard?" Emil replies cheerfully with mouth filled with munched egg. Mickey turns an incredulous stare at him, looking somewhere between horrified and forlorn.

Sara squints and looks away from her compact mirror, mourning her dark circles and dry patches of skins on her cheek. She's not gonna staying up that late ever again. "Ew." She looks at Emil long and hard. She likes the boy, and the fact that he unabashedly trying to get close to her brother. But sometimes it's like he's on a completely different wavelength than the rest of the world. "that's morbid, Em"

"Also it's not like your ass is that big of a deal, Mickey." She continues, putting her mirror back to her pouch. "Chris's dong was displayed openly like the christmas baubles, no one's going to notice your lower back." Mickey whines and continues to attempting to fuse his face with the stained wood surface of the table.

 

"Speaking of ass." Emil glances to his left curiously. Crispino siblings follows his line of sight and finds a table with curled and shaking Viktor Nikiforov and his merry band. "Who did you think got his ass wrecked yesterday?"

Mickey gapes into a perfect O, Sara's eyes suddenly sparks. The tables next to them stretches their necks and clear their ears.

Sara spots Mila and the Chinese female representative skater at the nearby buffet table and gestures at them to come closer.

 

"Oh, definitely Yuuri's." Mila chirps as soon they explains the topic at her. Someone at the next table snorts.

"Viktor's been eyeing for that ass for a year. Now the competition seasons are over, pretty sure he grabs them as soon as he can."

"Well.." Mickey clears his throat awkwardly "Katsuki got more stamina."

"Yeah! Yeah!" Zhi li, the Chinese Skater nodded enthusiastically. "Have you SEEN his thighs? And pelvis? If I'm Viktor i'm gonna beg him to do me."

 

"Oh, babe.." Mila sips her tea dramatically "We all have."

Others at their table nods in agreement, reminiscing last year's attraction.

 _I haven't_. Emil whines.

"But have you seen Viktor's though?" Mila adds, looking triumphiant. She mouthes 'it's soo aawesomeee'.

Zhi li's eyes turns wide as saucers, Sara gulps and Mickey's breath hitches. Emil just blinks with a confused smile. Across the room, Viktor Nikiforov accidentally bites his tongue.

\------

Katsuki Mari's English are basic at best. Acquired from years of interactions with foreign guests and expands when she had to follow her brother's international career.

It also rapidly increasing for the last 8 months from the exposure to his brother's... Idol? Coach? Boyfriend? Fiance? Whatever he is. So she can pretty much follow previously unintelligible chatters and finds out that her brother's sex life and state of his butt is somewhat a hot topic among world class athletes and journalists alike.

 _Well_. She thinks, _That's not awkward at all._

"Oh!!" Mari's heart leaps to her throat as she turns to find a really hot, hotter than hell redhead she recognized from Yurio and Viktor's instagram posts. "You're Yuuri Katsuki's sister right?"

_Shit yes I am, and you're a Russian Goddess and your fellow Olympians I have no idea how to talk to._

She fells dumb when she just nods and staring at the bread on her plate accusingly.

Sara Crispino, the other perfect haired Goddess squeals and drags another chair beside her. "Sit here! Sit here!!" She gestures enthusiastically. Her (really hot) brother shoots his eyebrow but gives Mari a sympathetic nod.

And that's how Mari find herself among residents of prettytown who's more than eager to talk about her family's sex life.

There's also old and young people with neck stretched Towards them like a group of galapagos turtle who sometimes adds their two cents on whose ass is the prettier between her brother and his boyfriend slash fiancé.

It's an eventful breakfast.

\-----

 

Yuri trudges angrily with Otabek in tow after Viktor-forehead-Nikiforov's shitty attempts at digging around his social life.

Katsudon looked flustered and profusely apologized to Otabek after Viktor made a not so subtle remarks about 'bad influences', 'impressionable age' and bunch of other embarrassing and totally unrelated topic Yuri wants to throw out from the balcony.

The straw was when Viktor implied something about stranger danger and making instant relation to someone.

 _Him_! Of all people!

Otabek's face are as straight as ever, but there's a stiffness on the corner of his mouth that wasn't there earlier this morning. He gave a tentative smile to Yuri, looking more awkward than he ever looks. Yuri's gonna shave all of Viktor's hair in his sleep.

"Ignore the old guy." Yuri bites back his irritation. "He's just getting his weekly dose of midlife crisis."

"It's nothing." Otabek says. "They cares about you." He adds. He looks strangely amused although his smile are strained.

Yuri drops himself at one of the lobby's seat, feeling something crawls inside his stomach. Yep, he's going to switch Viktor's conditioner with shaving cream.

"I told you going along with that Nympho cow's idea is a bad decision."

"You enjoyed that, though." At that suggestion Yuri groans. But hey, anything that turn fucking JJ into an embarrassing display and turn him into a reject from waxing salon project is worth the admission.

"We're going to get banned from this venue." Yuri snickers, not entirely remorseful.

"We are." Otabek hums, Yuri allows his face to relax. There's a cheer erupting from the dining hall and for once it doesn't affect Yuri's mood.

"Next year we're going to stay at a different hotel though." He muses, playing with the hem of his jacket. The realization of his gold medal and his record suddenly sets in. It's not entirely pleasant, somehow.

Otabek doesn't make a sound, Yuri shoots a glance and finds out he's lost at his own thoughts.

"Oi." Yuri curses himself from making a way too loud barks, but apparently it snaps Otabek out of his trance. "If you're also thinking to retire, I'm going to hunt you down and hung you upside down from Giacometti's pole."

Otabek looks surprised but also strangely glowing. "I'm not." He says. "I'm just thinking about my odds of getting into final qualifier next year."

"What the fuck."

"Why?" He looks amused now. Also sad, but mostly amused.

"Listen here." Yuri suppresses an urge to kick something and, God, it's hard. "If you left me alone next year with the gross couple, JJ and their insufferable peers by myself, I'll drag your sorry ass and this time no firefighter can pry you open from the fucking pole and your leg hair is not the only thing that's missing."

"You want me to be here." Otabek phrases the words carefully. It was a question Yuri feel no need to answer.

" _Duh_!"

\------

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this series have it's own will. 
> 
> I can't write sappy romance to save my life, so my favourite couple are stuck in the background.
> 
> Thank you for reading this grammar disaster of a fic! I still can't believe people likes this series!
> 
> Merry christmas y'all! Although i have zero idea what's with American's fixation to christmasing everything.


End file.
